When I go ...

Sometimes I think I should reverse my decision to have no service when I "pop off" as the British say.  What a spectacle, what a grand production it would be. Four hours long with breaks along the way. It would be in our downtown theater. Live organ music, wildly eclectic recorded music.  Videos of my glorious career in radio and public life.  Free copies of all the marvelous writing I turned out, including those that got rejected and censored.  But wait!  There's more. After a pause for station identification.  I am getting an idea for a digital gravestone. Wait a minute.  That means I would need a grave .  I must rethink the whole thing.

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You say this is inappropiate? Death is a serious thing? If you make it to 90 you might enjoy being inappropriate about a lot of things. That includes your own mortality.

Holy Water?

I am too old to be living in this century.  I had a hard time getting used to it when family members brought their bottled water into the funeral chapel.

Not funny, you say?

OK, so my idea of fun is weird.  I find it fun to think about the reaction when I shuffle off this mortal coil and it's announced that there will no service.  Some will be relieved because they don't like funerals. Others will be disappointed. They have already composed the things they want to get up and say about me. Maybe one or two old folks wish for a traditional Christian service.  I just attended one of those.  We sang "Jesus Love Me."  It was sweet.  It was appropriate for the deceased, friends and family. That's what matters. It's not my business or your business to tell anybody how they should deal with death.
The way we deal with it is a funny thing.  OK,  maybe not funny. But interesting.

The Lady and the Funeral Home

There are lots of female morticians. One of the most interesting is Caitlin Doughty. She owns a boutique funeral home in LaLaLand where all the creative ideas come from. She's dedicated to changing the way we think about death and the disposition of human remains.  Her style is "different."  She's a rabble rouser in the traditional funeral industry.  I like her.  Maybe you won't. She makes me laugh.   You can google her or find her on Ted Talks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvTdKGfj7eU

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I really like this one... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWYCx2-PPLg

Dare you read this??

 Friends much younger than I, which is pretty much everybody, might not like this blog.  If your need is for comforting words,  grief support or profound thoughts about the meaning of it all,  that's not what it is.  It's just a lot of geriatric observations from a very  old man.  I tried to count the funerals and memorial services I've atended in those many decades. With only those that I can easily remember, I got close to 20  If  I thought about it for awhile there would be  many more. When you've been there that many times you change your mind about a lot of things.  That includes your thoughts about your own "final arrangements" and the kind of service you want or don't want.

At age 90 I am pretty traditional and old fashioned about a lot of things.  Not about dealing with death.  It's OK with me if you want your remains in an urn, cemetery, fertilizing a tree, .shot into space or encased in jewelry for someone to wear in remembrance. Just let your people know. If they don't like it, do not worry yourself into an early urn.

Wrong about death?

I don't relate to the posts about death and grieving that I see on Facebook. I don't recall ever experiencing the waves of grief that I often see there.  Is there something wrong with me? There are lots of things wrong with me.  But the way I deal with death is not one of them. We are all different.  Our attitudes and feelings about death are shaped by countless factors, beliefs and experiences  and the circumstances of the death. Age is a part of it. My wife was 80 and I was 83 when she died. I'm twice the age of most internet users.   I have experienced more deaths than I can remember.  Nobody half my age or  even 15 or 20 years younger dealing with a loss wants to hear that you might get over the grief. But you might.

Why does the 1940 Cadillac keep showing up here?  Maybe it's a guy thing. I hope some guy who is into classic cars will spot it and take a peek at what the blog is about.  It would be good  to know that men read something about death that's written by a man and find something helpful in it. If there's a fellow Packard fan here, you probably know that Henry Ford's last ride wasn't in a Ford or a Cadillac. It was a Packard hearse.